


come crashing in like a wildfire

by leviathanmirror



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 15:05:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 8,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16835026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leviathanmirror/pseuds/leviathanmirror
Summary: A collection of ficlets about lapsed-but-light-side Jedi Consular, Eiri Cavan, and Koth Vortena.





	1. With Snow Outside

Koth alternates watching the snow fall outside and watching Eiri. She’s restless for her, which doesn’t look a whole different from not restless. She can be pretty hard to read but he’s learning her little tells.

Like the slight tightening of her fingers against the fabric of her tunic. As if she’s trying hide that she’s trying to warm them. Or how she occasionally shifts her weight, something she only ever does in the cold.

It didn’t really bother him in the distracting way. He’d barely notice if he wasn’t looking for it. He’s not sure how he feels about her grin and bear it approach though. It had its benefits, at other times, in other places.

“Hey,” he says and waits for her to look over at him; she’s not smiling, another sign of her discomfort and one she only displays when they’re alone together.

“Come over here.”

She doesn’t ask what he wants, just pads over to him, steps light without her heavy boots on. She doesn’t even come to a full stop in front of him before he grabs her by the waist and pulls her into his lap.

She blinks in confusion. He gathers up her cold hands in one of his and presses them up against his chest. He manages not to flinch from how cold her fingers are. She probably can’t even feel them.

“Stay here for awhile,” he says, turning up the end of the sentence so it sounds like a question.

“Okay,” she says, pressing a soft kiss to the base of his throat.

When he’s sure she’s not going to move her hands, he wraps both arms around her, pulling her close against him, sharing his warmth.


	2. Cooking Breakfast

“Hovering won’t make it cook faster,” Eiri says.

Koth can’t see her face, standing behind her as he is, but she sounds like she’s smiling. Not like she has a temper, even if he’s being annoying.

He settles his hands on her hips, still watching whatever it is she’s cooking over her shoulder.

“Maybe it’s not about the food,” he says, tightening his grip on her hips a little and nuzzling against her temple.

She laughs at that.

“It’s always about the food with you.”

“It can be about the food and… this,” he says, moving to wrap his arms around her waist. Moments like this were rare, the opportunity to just hold her outside of times when they should both be sleeping was too good to pass up.

She gives one of his hands a gentle squeeze and leans back into him.

He rests his head against hers and lets himself pretend for a little while that there’s nothing else waiting for them.


	3. Sharing Traditions

“I thought Life Day was pretty universally celebrated in your part of the galaxy,” Koth says, watching a group of former Republic soldiers set up a tree in the cantina. He wasn’t really clear on the tree thing, it seemed pretty weird.

“It is,” Eiri responds, “but traditions require… roots, of some sort.”

Koth liked the parts of the Jedi lifestyle that involved wandering the galaxy helping people (at least that’s what most of the Jedi he’d met had done, on orders or not, they were everywhere helping). He wasn’t too big on whole lack of attachment thing.

Eiri squeezes his hand gently, probably picking up on his irritation. He returns the gesture.

“Tell you what, this time of year in Zakuul we’d be celebrating Scyva. You’ll be great at it, there’s a lot of quiet contemplation.”

She brings his hand up to her lips, kissing the knuckles gently.

“Thank you,” she says, and the warmth in her voice, in her expression makes his heart ache.

He could do roots for her.


	4. Déjà vu

The Gravestone is a long way from Odessan when Koth gets a two line message from a member of his crew recovering back at the base.

He spends the next five minutes reading those two lines over in some desperate hope that they’ll say something else the next time.

It feels like Asylum and a grotesquely bloodless wound (and to reverently touching the scar that logically shouldn’t exist). Like the panic when he realized she was missing in the Odessan wilds. Like watching her leave to fight Arcann alone.

He tries to contact her and there’s nothing. He can feel the beginning of that panic again, of the guilt that he’s always so damned far away when she’s in trouble.

He tries Lana next. If anyone will know whether it’s true or not, it’s her. She doesn’t answer either. Out of desperation, he tries Theron too.

Nothing.

None of them are at the base. T7’s response tells him the little droid has heard the rumor too.

He just wants someone to tell him it’s not true. That she’s alive and well wherever she is.

Koth tries to convince himself it’s still just a rumor. He feels sick, there’s a hollow feeling creeping into his chest and his throat burns.

He should have been with her.


	5. Stargazing

“Outdoors person, huh?” Koth says as he approaches.

Eiri smiles at the sound of his voice. She doesn’t turn to him. It feels like it’s been a very long time since she’s been able to just breathe the night air and watch the stars.

“Something like that,” she says.

He drops down heavily at her side. She does give him a sympathetic look then. Putting together a base of operations on Odessan was hard work, physically at least. It’s a different kind of exhaustion from what she’s used to seeing, the psychological, emotional burnout from the war and the occupation.

Koth is probably more tired than most. When does someone in his position get to rest easy? She’s tempted, very briefly, to allow him to fall asleep sitting there next to her but it will probably do more harm than good in the long run.

“Did you ever wonder what was out there?” She asks, and regrets disturbing him when he looks up at the stars.

“A little. Everyone does, right?” He pauses, shifting position, “I mean, we knew. What we were told at any rate. Didn’t sound like a great place but you can’t help but wonder.”

She hums in agreement.

“War has been common,” she says, “But there are beautiful things too.”

He’s quiet for long enough that she turns to look at him again. He’s awake and thoughtful looking.

“What’s your favorite place in the galaxy?” He asks, gesturing broadly at the stars.

“Tython, maybe,” she says after a handful of seconds, “It’s beautiful and wild. Or it was, once.”

“War?” He asks when it’s clear she isn’t going to continue.

“War.”

“Tell me something that hasn’t been ruined,” he says, quietly.

Following damage and destruction had been her job. She doesn’t know how to respond, how to tell him of all the memories tainted by the cold war and then the actual war. How little she had that was unbroken.

She bites her lip, considering.

“Rishi wasn’t perfect but I wouldn’t say it was ruined, either,” she says, finally.

“Rishi, huh? Lana’s mentioned it. Not somewhere I’ve gotten to see,” he says and he sounds normal again.

“Maybe if there’s time when this is over, I’ll take you,” she says, still looking up at the vast, dark sky and all the brilliant stars.

“I’d like that.”


	6. First Time

Eiri immediately likes the sound of his voice. She has better things to be thinking about when she first hears it though, so she doesn’t give it a second thought. She still finds herself smiling in spite of herself when she listens to him and the way he phrases things and how free he is with what he’s feeling. There’s no time for it but she can’t help but like him even before she’s really met him.

She’s immediately attracted to him when she first sees him. This isn’t new though, Eiri found a lot of people attractive. She found Lana attractive, physically, at least. And when they talked about ancient cultures and not whether or not genocide was ever acceptable for any reason, they could kind of get along. There was underlying tension between all of them. It made her skin itch but it couldn’t be a primary concern.

Survival first, even though she felt all kinds of warm watching him get excited about the Gravestone. The tension between he and Lana bothered her, a little. But if they were both going to insist that whatever was there was in the past, then she would believe them. Or at least believe that that’s where they wanted it to be.

His honesty was attractive too. It couldn’t be easy to admit to having a part in all the destruction that the Eternal Empire had wrought but he was willing to own up to it. She felt a little like he was a kindred spirit and it was comforting not to be alone with Lana and her deception and her brutal pragmatism. She wanted to tell him about Valkorion but was too afraid of how he would respond. After all, it was really her fault all this had happened. Her and Arcann and Valkorion and even, to some extent, Darth Marr. If they hadn’t chased the Emperor, would any of this have happened?

She keeps her thoughts to herself and tells Koth that he did the right thing.

He returns the sentiment when she sends the refugees HK-55 finds back to the Gravestone. It was the only thing, as far as she was concerned. They were poor and desperate and deserved more than suspicion for their suffering. She appreciates it nonetheless. She knows it will lead to an argument with Lana and she’s not looking forward to it.

And then Lana springs Senya on them. Eiri can see the value in it. They need everyone they can get at this stage and she’s familiar with Zakuul too, on top of being an excellent warrior and Force user. But seeing the way it upsets Koth makes her waver, just a little, in her decision to insist that they get along. They have bigger concerns than whatever past is between the two but if they can’t trust each other, they may tear the little group apart from the inside.

She hopes she made the right choice.

Seeing Koth so resigned after the argument on the bridge is still disconcerting. She hasn’t known him long but it still doesn’t feel like him at all. The intensity of her desire to comfort him surprises her. She doesn’t want him to sound so defeated. She wants…She wants.

It’s probably just a crush. And that’s still more emotional attachment than she’s ever had to a romantic interest. More than she’s ever allowed herself to have.

She kind of likes it. And she very much likes him.

The worst that could happen is he rejects her outright but it’s better than never finding out if it could have been worthwhile.


	7. Morning After

Eiri wakes at her usual time in the darkness of the morning. She can feel a fond smile forming on her lips as she looks up at Koth, still asleep and peaceful for once. She brushes the tips of her fingers over his cheek, his arm is solid at her back but she still wants to touch, just a little, to feel that he’s there with her. She’s very careful not to wake him as she does but getting out of bed is another thing. His arm is very solid behind her. She wiggles a little in attempt to free herself from his grip which just makes him tighten it. He sighs softly, breath ruffling her hair.

She very briefly considers just moving his arms with the Force. Forcibly moving him feels like a kind of violation though and she slumps back against him while she considers her options.

It’s starting to look like waking him is it. She feels guilty about preventing him from having the little sleep he’d have after last night but she has too much to do to stay. She’s expected in the Force Enclave before too long and she doesn’t want to be late, especially for the new recruits who look to her for guidance.

She tries to wiggle free again and he grumbles. She freezes but it’s too late, he opens one eye tiredly and looks at her confused for a few seconds. Then he seems to remember why he’s in her bed and grins at her.

“‘Morning, sunshine.”

“Good morning. I was trying not to wake you,” she says apologetically.

He looks at her confused again before it occurs to him to check the time. His grimace says he doesn’t like what he sees but he’s still too much of a soldier to complain about it. The garbage hours are part of the job. He’s more mechanic and pilot now than soldier but he’s still a relatively early riser. Just not this early.

“No rest for the wicked, huh?”

“I’m afraid not, my love.”

He searches her face, looking serious for a change, and then leans down to press a kiss to her forehead, the bridge of her nose, and finally her lips. She leans into it briefly and then pulls away.

“You can go back to sleep,” she says, getting out bed as he lets her go. She pads toward her closet, totally naked and unashamed.

She can hear him shift behind her as she heads towards her closet. There’s little in there but what she wore last night isn’t going to be appropriate for her work in the Force Enclave. She dresses without any particular haste and is aware that Koth watches her the entire time. By the time she’s finished he’s gotten out of bed and put his pants back on.

“One of these days, I’m gonna convince you to sleep in,” he says as she turns around.

She smiles, walking over to him. She leans up to kiss the corner of his mouth. He rests his hands on her hips and for a minute he holds her where she is. He lets go reluctantly when she pulls back.

“I’d like that,” she says.

She doesn’t want to leave but she has too much to do to stay. One day, she hopes to put all this responsibility down and have the time to live her own life.

There’s an odd finality to the door swishing shut behind her as she steps into the cool, carved rock hall.


	8. Alien Language

Eiri’s had the bad habit of bringing datapads to bed since the day he started sharing it with her. Probably since she got handed the title of Commander. He dips his head to kiss her shoulder, watching as the foreign language scrolls across the screen in her hands. She doesn’t acknowledge him. Not the time to start the “no work in bed” argument again, then. He understands she’s got a lot of work she can’t put off but he wishes she would rest more.

Koth tightens his grip on her, pulling her back against him. Maybe a distraction is the way to go.

“Hm…?”

“You can read that?” He asks.

She blinks and he figures she’s lost her place. Good.

“The language. Not one I know.” Not that he knew that many, Zakuul only had one species and a standardized writing system. There were a variety of languages but nothing like what he’d encountered since leaving.

“Yes,” she says, turning her head a bit.

“Why do you ask?”

He kisses her shoulder again now that she’s paying attention to him and he feels her relax a little against him. Better.

“Never seen anything like it. Zakuul’s not the most diverse place,” he says. He wonders if that was deliberate, if Valkorion wanted them isolated. He pushes the thought aside; thinking about the manipulation involved in making Zakuul what it was is stressful and not going to help him coax Eiri into resting instead of working.

“Would you like to learn?” She asks. He can hear the amusement in her voice. Odds are good he’s been found out but he’s not against playing along either.

“Couldn’t hurt.” He can think of worse things than one on one language lessons with his partner. And it probably wouldn’t hurt - off Zakuul meant interacting with a whole host of other species.

She inclines her head and her hair slides away from her neck, leaving it exposed. He leans down to kiss the juncture of her neck and shoulder.

She sighs softly and puts the datapad down.

“Not now,” she says, turning to face him.

She pulls him into a slow kiss. He “accidentally” knocks the datapad off the bed and smiles against her lips.


	9. Home Planet

Zakuul’s a wreck when they finally go back after the bombardment. This was meant to be a short supply run but there were people who needed help beyond stimpacks and whatever rations they’d dug out of the Alliance’s stock. Len and the rest of the crew are helping to clear the way to a mostly intact building people can use for shelter. Lana’s talking to the ‘elected’ leader of this particular group of refugees, a worn looking older woman whose gesturing at the building and saying something Koth’s too far to hear.

Koth had been in charge of distributing medical supplies but it isn’t needed this time around. The Commander herself was with them. He watches her out of the corner of his eye while he’s carrying the crates over to where the refugees are keeping their scavenged supplies. It’s better than looking at the destruction to his home. They’re free but the price was high and it hurts to look right all the damage. Zakuul had taken the brunt of the bombardment and it showed.

She’s kneeling next to a ragged looking kid with some kind of bloody arm injury. If he squints, he can see the halo of light that means she’s healing someone (or something, he’s seen her heal animals too and once a bruised plant). There’s a small audience - grateful people she’s already healed (mostly children and the elderly but also a woman who thought she was going to lose her leg before they’d arrived) and those still waiting for her attention. The sight is somehow both comforting and disconcerting. It’s never easy to see kids hurt.

Koth puts the last of the medical supply crates down and takes a look around again. Building, semantics, or…And he saunters over to Eiri, who’s talking soothingly to a little girl cuddling a dirty stuffed wingmaw (who thought those would make good toys?). He can hear the low, even murmur as he approaches. There are long scratches on her arms - not as deep as the kid before her but still an infection risk in these conditions - that she seems to be bearing as stoically as a child no older than eight could.

The little girl is saying her thanks and Eiri is moving on to the next, person (a young man with burns on his arms, face, and back) when he reaches her. Eiri’s smile deepens when she notices him, expression softening with affection.

“Everything alright here?” he asks, because he really has no reason to be over here other than it was where he most wanted to be.

“We’re fine,” Eiri says, gesturing to her patients.

“How are you?” she asks, without looking up from healing the young man’s wounds. He would have been an exceptional beauty before the burns. Koth doesn’t think that’s changed but he’d bet his last credit the man does.

“I’m always good,” he returns, keeping his tone light. Eiri glances up at him, expression momentarily serious. They both know that’s a lie but it’s not a conversation they can have here.

He wastes a few more seconds watching Eiri work. Letting her calm presence and the faint light of her healing soothe him before he heads back to Len and manual labor. The effects are regrettably short lived.

By the time they’re done, he’s beat and even piloting the Gravestone feels like a chore.

He jumps when Eiri slips up behind him and puts her hands on his shoulders. He can feel all the aches and pains of the day dissipating. Special treatment - a perk of dating the boss. Probably not a Jedi Approved use of the Force but he couldn’t care less.

“Thanks,” he says and he can hear the threads of his own exhaustion when he speaks.

Eiri rubs her thumb in gentle circles at the base of his neck.

“It was…hard,” he says. He’s not great at articulating what was hard but Eiri doesn’t seem to need anything else. She makes a quiet noise of acknowledgment, hands still on his shoulder, cool where her skin meets his.

He closes his eyes and leans back. They’re not likely to be attacked now that the Eternal Fleet is under Eiri’s command. There’s not much out there that could pose a real threat to the Gravestone.

“Do you remember your home?” he asks. Maybe that will help her understand although the whole Jedi and attachments mess may make that impossible.

She presses a soft upside down kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“You’re my home,” she says, mouth still close enough to his that he can feel her breath against his lips.

He buries one hand in her hair and pulls her down to kiss her properly.

“Not really what I meant,” he says when she pulls away.

“I don’t remember the world I was born on and the Order discouraged forming attachments to other places,” she offers.

“I moved around too much to really feel deeply connected to any one place.”

She doesn’t say outright that she can’t understand exactly how he feels.

He wonders if he envies her or pities her.


	10. "Wanna bet?"

A lot of places empty out after dark on Odessan. There’s an empty stretch across the open air walks from one end of the base to the other. Eiri is next to him, physically at least, but she looks tired and distant. He’s not even sure she realizes he’s walked with her from the war room. There really isn’t much on the opposite side of the base (unless you want to go out into the woods and she’s not doing that again - not alone at least). Koth finds Eiri out here often enough that he figures she’s got to like the fresh air (he can’t blame her, the base is roomy sure but it’s still built into a rock wall and it’s crowded as anything these days).

“Hey,” he says before they get very far into the open.

She blinks, tilting her head up to look at him, but says nothing.

“Bet you anything I can out race you,” he says. He gives her a few seconds to be surprised after he says it.

“Come on, just to the end of the walkway.”

He doesn’t wait for her response before taking off for the opposite end of the walkway. He starts slow, listening to make sure she’s following him before he really starts running. He keeps listening, passed the sound of his heavy footsteps for her lighter ones, for the sound of her breathing made harder by exertion, for her calling his name in the pretense of exasperation but there’s nothing but laughter in her voice.

Koth expects to win. He keeps a steady lead and she doesn’t have the physical training behind her that he does (apparently consulars get to skip extra lightsaber training for galactic history lessons). So he’s pretty surprised himself when she breezes past him at the very end.

She’s waiting for him, smiling innocent as anything, at the end of the walkway.

“You cheated.”

“There were no rules,” she responds, still the picture of innocence, “and you challenged a Force user to a race. What did you think was going to happen?”

She has him there. He hadn’t really thought it through but he figures he won anyway. She’s breathing a little heavily and her eyes are bright, her expression attentive. She’s there with him now and some of the ever present tiredness has melted away.

Eiri reaches out, grabbing his coat and pulling him towards her.

“What are you up to?” He asks, like he doesn’t know. He likes the heavy-lidded look she gives him return.

“You said ‘anything’”, She says, hands releasing his coat and sliding up to pull him down to her.

“My prize,” she murmurs softly against his lips and she kisses him warm and slow in the cool night air. He rests his hands lightly on her hips, supportive but following her lead.

Only a technical loss, really.


	11. Serendipity

Koth calls it fate. He meets the woman he thinks he could spend a lifetime with during the lowest part of his life and they try to start a revolution. It doesn’t catch. There’s something a little stilted in the planning, in the presence, in the pragmatism. He needs Lana so he forgives her when she leaves civilians who can’t protect themselves to die and he convinces himself that sacrifices have to be made because this isn’t a revolution. It’s a shipful of idiots trying and failing to take back what they’ve lost.

Lana’s Outlander sounds like some kind of miracle but he can’t imagine her. He can’t imagine anything fixing this. There are days he wishes Lana would get the same look in her eyes for him that she does when she’s talking about Eiri Cavan, Professional Hero.

Things with Lana end. The instant Lana’s Jedi could be a reality in their lives, she walks away from him. Not for the first time, despite Lana’s vehement denial, he wonders if she’s not in love with her Outlander. He hopes she’s worth it. He still believes things with Lana can be fixed. Meeting her was fate. It had to be.

The rescue attempt is a complete disaster. The Outlander’s voice is soft and even when she speaks. He was expecting more power. Something to inspire their flagging rebellion. He’s gruff because he thinks they’re all going to die for nothing. This couldn’t possibly be worth it.

But then Lana’s Outlander is taking his side about the reactor. Refusing to live at the expense of thousands of other lives. He feels sick when Lana’s trying to tell her to save herself and he convinces himself it’s anxiety. Plenty of reason to be anxious right now. And they do it. He has no idea what happens, he can only listen to the ongoing argument, but somehow the reactor isn’t blowing up and none of those thousands of people are dying.

He’s forgotten what hope feels like at this point. Some of the tension he’s been carrying around for years eases. The Outlander refuses to compromise on the lives of innocents, on the lives of unarmed enemies, on the lives of her allies. Despite the incredible odds against them, they all make it out of the city.

Eiri Cavan isn’t what he expected. Lana’s stories were of a leader and hero. She calls herself a healer. A diplomat. A scholar. The ship crashes and she thanks them for saving her. Then she suggests they trap the ship and he’s beginning to see, a little, what she might be. Maybe what Lana wanted from the Outlander was her mind.

Then she finds the Gravestone and he’s so very sure that this is meant to be. He was meant to find Lana and Lana was meant to find the Outlander and the Outlander was meant to find the Gravestone.

Eiri is surprisingly soothing to be around. Gentle. Forgiving. Protective. He’s never seen anyone genuinely grateful for a little honesty. She sends the refugees back to the Gravestone. He can already hear Lana chewing them out for being careless but he’s willing to believe they’re good people in need of a hand. Apparently so is the Outlander.

It’s strange not having to fight with (and lose to) Lana personally about these things. But Eiri shrugs off Lana’s protests about potential spies or whatever it is she’s claiming those desperate people could be with a casual ease that makes him a little envious. He gets that sick feeling again listening to Lana trying to convince Eiri to abandon the refugees. He wants to think it’s just relief. It’s been a long damn time since he’s had someone with any sway on his side.

That lasts until Senya shows up. He would probably tell anyone who asked that he couldn’t believe Lana would go behind his back this way but he knows deep down that it’s not true. Lana does whatever she thinks she needs to without a single thought about the consequences.

He wishes he was still angry when Eiri comes down to see him. Not the resignation of someone who has spent too much time dealing with consequences on Lana Beniko’s behalf. Her presence is still so very soothing and even the resignation fades eventually. He talks and she listens, attentive and kind.

He’s at least eighty percent sure she’s flirting with him when she asks about his attention. He hadn’t considered any possibilities but ending up with Lana up until that moment. But Eiri is there smiling at him, compassionate and uncompromising. He hadn’t considered anything else but even just a few hours of someone who shares his priorities has been a balm to his tired soul.

The refugees are all eager to work. To repay Eiri for her kindness. He can see the spark of revolution in their devotion. Maybe what Zakuul needs, what the galaxy needs, (what he needs), is an open hand. Someone willing to help them get back to their feet so that they can keep fighting. (Some part of him has always known that.)

Over the course of a few hours they’d gone from “almost certainly going to die fighting” to “having a real chance to fight back.”

Eiri and the Gravestone.

It’s fate. It has to be.


	12. Crush

He’s not her first kiss and he’s not her first lover. Physically, she’s been with an impressive variety of people. She wants him, when they meet, she likes the sound of his voice and the way he holds himself but she wants more too. She’s never had a crush before. The way her body warms when he pays attention to her and the feeling in her belly like she’s falling are very new.

She likes them. She shouldn’t, she’s spent her entire life being told that this feeling is the first step to destruction, but she likes it anyway. She likes that he makes her feel this way. So she flirts, tests the water a little to see if he would be interested. When she does have his interest, all her training tells her to pull back but her heart wants to rush forward, so she tells him to come back to her. It’s not romantic if they never find out what this could be.

She’d wanted to kiss him on the Gravestone. It was a terrible time and he was barely interested in her but she had this fantasy of him pressing her back against one of the cool walls and kissing her breathless.

She’s breathless from pain the first time they kiss but it’s a relief too. Comforting. He’s here. They’re together. There is something to all the warmth and falling feelings. Underneath the pain and the survival instinct pushing her forward, there’s a tremor of excitement at this new, lovely thing.


	13. First Kiss

She kisses him with blood in her mouth.

She’s in pain, more than she’s ever been in before, but it’s important that he knows she’s not going anywhere if she can help it. It’s important that he knows he’s becoming important to her, so much so that it hurts right along with the hole in her.

This can’t be the last thing she does but if it is, she’s glad that he was there. She’s glad that her last action could be one of affection and tenderness rather than violence. She wants to say ‘thank you’ but she’s clenching her teeth from the pain and she knows he won’t understand. She wants to say ‘I could love you’ but it’s so soon and she’s in so much pain the words would die in her throat.


	14. Future Plans

“What do you think you’ll do when this over?” she asks him one day, head resting on his bare chest as they lie in bed together.

Some part of him has always been sure he wants to keep helping Zakuul but another just wants to follow her across the galaxy - wherever it is she’s going and stay by her side until the stars burn out. That’s grossly sappy and he’ll probably never mention any of it when he’s sober.

“Help people, I guess,” he says, because it’s non-committal and he doesn’t have to choose between her and his people just yet this way.

One of her hands is resting on his abdomen, she spreads the fingers slowly, watching them rise and fall with his breathing.

“Me too,” she says softly, and he figures she’s having the same problem he is.

“We could make this permanent,” he says, impulsively but sure of himself.

She raises herself up with her arms on either side of him. Looks him in the eye and he looks back, confident despite the suddenness of his proposal. She doesn’t ask but he can see the question she’s trying to parse.

“Spend some time helping Zakuul, some time helping your people,” he offers. He’s beginning to think this will end badly for him.

It feels like forever before her full lips quirk up in a tiny smile, she leans down until they’re sharing the same breath and says, “Yes.”

He slides his hands up her sides, curls one arm around her and tangles one hand in her hair to pull her down to him.

She kisses him softly and he can feel her still smiling against his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written before the release of KotET.


	15. A Victory

He carries her out of the control spar, the light saber cauterized her wound as soon as it made it. There’s very little blood even though she’s got a damned hole in her. He tries very hard not to think about that. His priority has to be getting everyone away from the Eternal Fleet.

It’s a victory. A pyrrhic victory but a victory nonetheless.

The next day is hard though. She doesn’t wake up, the ship needs repairs, people are actually paying attention to what they’re doing. He has responsibilities.

So he loiters in the room where she’s sleeping, trying to avoid the times when Lana is there, and avoiding the things he really needs to be doing.

Her light skin is paler than ever, her freckles standing out starkly against it. She doesn’t look like the destined savior of the galaxy. She looks like a woman, wounded and alone.

He brushes a few strands of her fiery hair from her face. She stirs gently, sighing softly in her sleep, and he promises he’ll do whatever she needs from him. Lana may be planning to put her in charge but he’ll be right behind her the whole way.


	16. A Life I Never Chose

Eiri couldn’t really blame Lana for telling Koth that Jedi are weird about relationships. It may not really be Lana’s place but it’s a fair concern, given that Eiri hadn’t told him anything about what she had been taught about passion and love. Weird is a very gentle way of putting. She can’t really blame Koth for asking what Lana meant. She may have preferred he asked when they weren’t lying in bed after a long day but then, every day had been long and there was no convenient time to talk about how, if she were a better Jedi, they wouldn’t be together at all.

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

“Jedi are largely forbidden from forming attachments,” she begins.

“Attachments?” He asks, and she can hear the smirk in his voice.

“Family, for one. Most of us are taken from our families when we’re young and forbidden from contacting them ever,” she says, softly. She had wondered about her family when she was younger but as she’d grown, blood ties had come to mean less and less to her.

He brushes his thumb over her hip and she opens her eyes to watch his face when she contines.

“Love. Very, very few of us are permitted to marry,” she says and he seems unsurprised.

“But you are allowed to have relationships?” He asks.

“Not really, no,” she sighs, “The Council would occasionally give the most trusted Jedi permission to have a relationship if they approved of their partner.”

“No offense, but that’s bizarre,” he says bluntly.

“It is,” she says, laughing, “and that’s the short version.”

“So I’m guessing from the reluctance that you and I wouldn’t have been approved of,” he keeps his tone light and she wonders if he’s genuinely amused or if he’d be bothered by getting the honest answer.

She gives it to him because she believes in honesty.

“No,” she says, curling a little closer to him, “I probably didn’t number among the worthy few.”

He goes back to stroking his thumb over her hip soothingly, “And me?” he asks.

She smiles a little, “the Council wouldn’t have liked you much. You’re kind, the Council would have approved of that. But there’s too much anger in you and too little forgiveness.”

“Doesn’t seem to bother you.”

“No,” she says, smiling, “it doesn’t.”

He seems content with that, at least for the moment, and curls his arm more firmly around her.

“We should sleep,” he says, after a handful of quiet minutes.

She hums a little in agreement, curling her hand over his and lacing their fingers together.


	17. Second Kiss

If their flirtation had gone anywhere, he’d have liked to kiss her for the first time on the Gravestone. Or pretty much literally anywhere but after nearly losing her to Arcann in Asylum’s control spar. Her lips are chapped and taste distressingly of blood but she’s alive and awake and capable of moving to get somewhere safe. Capable of speaking to reassure him.

He’s a little worried at just how relieved he is by that. How quickly she’d become a normal part of his life.

When she collapses and doesn’t wake up for days he just about drives Lana crazy looking for ways to distract himself (poor Lana is already looking like she’s been run ragged, he wonders if what he said about not treating this Outlander like a tool to solve her problems has sunk in but knows better than to bring it up). He just about fries his fingers and the Gravestone’s wiring more than once. He tries not to think about kissing her again. He wants to, properly, and somewhere safe enough that he can.. well, if he’s honest with himself, stumble over his words trying to explain that he’d like this to be something and not just a little flirting and one desperate, relieved kiss.

She doesn’t say anything about it when she wakes up. They have a galaxy to save and saving galaxies is a lot of work. There isn’t time. He hopes it’s just that there isn’t time but he waits for her to make the first move, just in case she’s having second thoughts about… whatever this is.

He doesn’t spare much thought to the possibility that he’s wrong when she says she wants to talk to someone. Theron is an uptight workaholic and kind of boring but he’s damned pretty and they have history, the way she and Lana have history - he’s a little jealous of all that history between them, there’ve already been a fair few times that he was out of his depth with them; his history with Lana doesn’t compare. The Outlander does her best to include him when it happens and he’s grateful for it but it’s weird being the odd man out with people who know each other so well.

She doesn’t correct him or ask one of the others along, so he takes it as a good sign. He’s grateful that she’s forward too. Forward, flirtatious, and suggesting what she wants without any pressure. He wants it too.

This is how he imagined their first kiss. Her lips aren’t chapped this time, they’re soft and pliant, she tastes a little sweet, like some kind of fruit rather than the bitter tang of blood. Her hands are callused but her body is soft and she smells clean, like she’s bathed recently.

She pulls away, smiling warmly and he kisses her again.


	18. Kindness

There’s a party on Odessan the first time they manage to take out a Star Fortress. She lingers around the bar just long enough to be seen and congratulated by a string of happy, drunken soldiers and miscreants. The room is too hot and as soon as she can leave without seeming like she didn’t want to be there with the people under her command, she slips out into the cool night air.

She stands on the ledge, looking over at the dark forests down below.

“I sure hope you’re not thinking about jumping,” Koth says from somewhere behind her, “Not that I’d blame you with all the fighting but you should probably push us off instead.”

“If I thought you’d survive,” she responds, smiling despite herself, “I just might.”

He winces theatrically as he comes to stand beside her.

“You suggested it,” she says cheerfully but he isn’t paying attention to what she’s saying anymore. He’s reaching for her left hand.

“You don’t heal your own wounds,” he observes, subdued and running a finger over the sensitive, reddened skin where the Exarch had burned her during their battle.

“It’s not serious enough to need it.”

He gives her an incredulous look even as he laces his fingers with hers and begins pulling her in the direction of the elevator to the base.

“Not even gonna dignify that,” he says, directing her towards the military hangar and it’s stock of emergency medical supplies.

He maintains a steady stream of incredulous grumbling while he tends to her burns.

He holds up one of her hands when he’s done, looks her in the eye, and says, “Don’t do this, please.”

“I won’t,” she responds, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

“Promise me.”

“I promise I’ll heal myself,” she responds, bringing their joined hands to her lips and brushing a kiss over his knuckles, “thank you for doing it for me this once.”

“Just come here,” he says gruffly, tugging her towards him..

She slips into his arms and rest her head against his chest.

“Did you want to go back to the cantina?” She asks.

“Nah, party probably died without us anyway.”

She laughs, soft in the quiet of the hangar, “they always do.”


	19. The Beginning

“I’m sorry, were you hurt?” She asks, looking up at him. The ethereal lights of the swamp make her eyes, already impossibly blue and beseeching, shine.

“Yeah, it’s nothing, just a scratch,” He responds, distractedly. His pride doesn’t need this and her puppy eyes are killing him.

She’s fast though, fast enough to catch his injured hand in both of hers before he can pull away. She cradles his hand between hers, pulled close to her chest. He’d swallow but his mouth has gone dry. Soft golden light covers their hands as she heals the injury, her small hands are strong and cool around his.

“Better?” She asks, letting him go like they didn’t just have the weirdest intimate moment in history in the wreck of a centuries old ship in the middle of a beast infested swamp. Maybe she didn’t think it was.

“Yeah, thanks,” He says, feeling oddly bereft.


	20. Home

A conversation over a sabacc game turned to the things Koth and Theron and Linli and Lana miss about where they came from. Eiri smiles, the bland smile she’s been hiding behind since she first understood the words ‘there is no emotion.’

Linli taps the table restlessly when Koth turns to her. Eiri has always wondered if there’s something in her eyes that gives her away to Linli. Some flaw in the way she constructs her outward appearance that she can fix or simply allow to crack.

She remembers home in a dream-like mist. Wilting blue flowers on a mantle, smelling sweetly of nectar and rot. A woman’s voice and the clatter of a chair falling over. She remembers that she didn’t cry when she left.

She remembers home in sunlight like sweet syrup slowly filling up the temple she was taken to. Long, lonely days spent trying to calm the beating of her red-hot heart long enough to sit still, to have patience.

She remembers home in the constant hum of a starship. In an endless, inky black full of stars that had long since shed their light. The constant cool that she could never quite get to leave her fingers.

She remembers home in honey colored eyes. Eyes looking at her now with the worry carefully covered in smug assurance. Home is a sister she never had and the love she first violates the code with. A locked up longing for family. To mean something to someone when she feels her worth is dependant on how much she can give.

She thinks of the home she longs for now. Gentle teasing and compassion covered in barbs. The spark again of a heart that was once wild, cold hands covered by warm until she can feel her fingertips again, a different pair of honey eyes that look at her in joy and reverence. It’s missing the half-dead flowers but she can live with that.

Eiri shrugs, a slight movement. She says she doesn’t miss the food, keeping her tone light, inoffensive. The conversations continues on, redirected from all her missing pieces and all the things she wishes she could fill them with.

When she looks up Linli and Koth are both looking at her and she smiles again. This time she knows the construction has cracked. She doesn’t mourn it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eiri and Linli are kind of a matched pair among my characters. They always exist together.


	21. Surprising/Hidden Talent

Koth had been kinda irritated with Eiri when she’d pointed to all the plants in the swamp and asked if he knew what they were and what they were good for. When she collected some of anything he’d pointed out as being used for medicinal or culinary purposes, he’d softened a little. At least she had good reasons. Thinking way more ahead than he had been, at any rate.

There had been hints, of course. How meat she roasted didn’t end up hopelessly charred like when he or Lana cooked, for one. And the stew she’d made for the refugees had actually been good although he hadn’t really thought that meant she could cook. She’d just had good ingredients by chance - she was, after all, totally unfamiliar with what she was working with - and she’d called it luck herself.

He’d found out on the Gravestone that she used the medicinal plants to make her own stimpacks. And that they were damn good stimpacks.

But that wasn’t so surprising. She was a healer and that was just another means of healing. That she’d want people safe if she wasn’t around to help wasn’t strange.

What was strange was finding her alone in the back of the cantina putting some sort of breaded vegetable dish on a plate. One of the usual cooks was asking her something about cooking times.

Koth padded over and took one of the vegetable things and popped it in his mouth before anyone could complain.

“I suppose I should just resign myself to you eating my food for the rest of our lives.”

He can hear the amusement in her voice. Better than getting yelled at. And the vegetable thing was amazing.

“Didn’t know you could cook.”

“You didn’t ask.”

Fair. But this isn’t what he’s here for.

“Lana’s looking for you,” he says casually, eyeing the plate in her hands. Maybe she’ll let him have it if she has to be somewhere else.

Eiri sighs tiredly.

“Of course she is.” She probably caught him eyeing her food from the look on her face.

“I can eat while I walk, I suppose,” she says. Then she turns to the cook, “I’m sorry, we’ll have to do this some other time.”

“Can’t be helped. You go do boss things, boss,” she replies.

“Of course,” Eiri says with a smile in her voice. Then she turns to Koth who was working on stealing a second one of the vegetable things.

She nudges his foot with her boot.

“We can share if you’re heading my way,” she offers.

“Yeah, yeah, of course.”

He’s going wherever the food is going.


End file.
